Transitioning from Romantic Infatuation to Rational Emotions

from crazy in love to real love

The reason why I am going to promote this again with some changes is that the data clearly shows its effectiveness. It has outperformed previous content with significantly higher clicks and impressions over a 7-day period. In fact, I would say there are so many people interested that the content has captivated an astonishing 4.143 million viewers from all over the world. This level of engagement speaks volumes about its relevance and appeal. The highest number of clicks we received reached nearly 10,000 during this time, further illustrating how well it resonated with the audience. I am not trying to show off or brag, but the impact of this message highlights that the importance of relationships is significant in our lives, irrespective of whether you identify as a Christian or a non-believer. This universal connection among us transcends belief systems and can certainly bring forth feelings of hope and encouragement during challenging times. Ultimately, it will give you HOPE!

I may include the books that may help you to succeed, offering a curated selection that encompasses a variety of topics including personal development, marriage strategies, and effective communication techniques. These books have been chosen based on their proven track records, insightful content, and practical approaches that inspire readers to take actionable steps toward achieving their goals. Additionally, I will provide summaries and key takeaways from each book, ensuring that you can quickly grasp the essential lessons and apply them in your journey to success.

Given the limited space, I will approach the task in stages, allowing for thorough focus and thoughtful decision-making. This method will create a structured progression and improve the quality of the work. As I reflect on each completed stage, I hope for positive outcomes, akin to fairy tales like Cinderella, which I cherish and will be watching tonight. This is about my life that my “Picture Your Dreams Turn Into Reality-Big Dreams, Visions, and Goal To Manifestations In Your Life.” The other books related to this is “The Fulfillment of Marriage”-The Secret Of My Marriage To Last Against The Odds, “The Power Of Love”-Graced Based Relationship, and more.

In moments of uncertainty, it’s important to hold onto hope and to believe that our efforts, no matter how small, can lead to something extraordinary. Life’s journey is not just about reaching the destination, but also about savoring the experiences and lessons we encounter along the way. Each setback can be a stepping stone if we allow ourselves to learn and grow from them. Remember, the universe has a way of aligning paths and bringing people together when the time is right. So, lift your spirits and keep your heart open, for you never know when your fairy tale might begin.

ADMIRERS, LOVERS OR HUSBAND

On the other hand, I have so many admirers, but I am not mainly a lover.

Cebu City was the first place I ventured to find a job after graduating with a Bachelor of Business Administration. When I started to find a job, I didn’t check so much if that job was related to my course. I grabbed it and accepted that it was making me money for sustenance. I found this job a menial job described as a typist editing the newspaper in the printing press with trophies. This man that I met, the manager who has interested me, was trying to take advantage of me and invited me to have a date. Due to my inexperience in this venture, I was very cautious. Anyhow, he paid for my lunch and other treats. Since I was uncomfortable, I quit that job. But I found out this man was drinking so much! When you look at him, he seems mature! But, there was behind the scenes that you know and be cautious about. I was very young and susceptible to being carried away with infatuation and love.

So, I was looking for another one and landed in the big shopping center business working in the office. I liked my officemates, but the salary was meager. However, I still worked there to support myself. Since I started working in the office, many sales representatives have come to the office to sell their products. They usually sat in front of our office with my office mates. We are generally younger women. In other words, these men can see us on display.

One of the salespeople has an interest in me. He invited us to have dinner in a costly restaurant. The whole coworkers I was stunned, but as usual, these men were not my type. They were either had vices of smoking and drinking. I also went to another city in Davao. I was very adventurous when I met people from different walks of life, especially men. They’re the wrong people and not my dream man.

But after all those experiences, I still didn’t find the man I wanted to have a close relationship with. It wasn’t easy.

When I came to think of those admirers who courted me, one with a job in the pineapple farm, the other one maybe, who is also drunk, was unemployed. The other one was younger. The other one was very pious and religious when he visited me, and he looked kind and respectful, but how about his job as a tailor? After all those years, they were passing by like ships. But when I remembered them fighting and rival-matched because of me. That was a very ridiculous situation. They’re all men, but it doesn’t have to be my choice. No! I remained a virtuous woman.

The reason why I included in this book. Whatever you encountered, men for women or women for men in your life. But it doesn’t mean having that person be your spouse is your destiny.

What about the emotional security of knowing that I am number one in their mind? What about the spirit of anticipation or high expectation, the twinkle of the eye, the electricity of a kiss, the excitement of sex?

That is what this book is all about. How do we meet each other’s deep or shallow emotional need to feel loved? If we can learn that and choose to do it, then the love we share will be exciting beyond anything we ever felt when we were infatuated.

When we asked ourselves when we met for the first time, we thought we fell in love, for we’re still on the quest to discover love. “Could this warm, tingly, electrifying feeling I have inside like goosebumps be the “real thing?”

Sometimes, we lose the tingles on the first date. We find out that this person spends time on crackpot websites or attends many types of courses, is flirty with women and men are playboys, even has magazines with him, and other perverse secret behavior. The tingles run right out our toes; we want no more hamburgers and soft drinks with them. Other times, however, the tingles are more vital when together in the movies.

We arranged for a few more “together” experiences. Before long, the level of intensity has increased to the point where we find ourselves saying, “I think I’m falling in love.” Sooner or later, we are convinced that it is the “real thing,” we tell the other person, hoping the feeling is mutual. If it isn’t,  things cool off a bit, or we redouble our efforts to impress and eventually win the love of our beloved. When it is reciprocal, we start talking about marriage because everyone agrees that being “in love” is the foundation for a good marriage.

INFATUATION OR PUPPY LOVE

I want to mention my experience in high school when I was secretly in love with a boy who didn’t know me or was not mutual. From what I heard, he was not my classmate, but I saw him in the bus terminal his parents owned. I was so attracted to that boy that I always thought of him and even wanted to be in the parking place, thinking he might be there. It was the most disturbing of those days. Since I am timid, I’ve never met that boy face to face; even one of my friends knew him because I was also very reserved after high school graduation. I’ve never seen that boy again. I wonder about that relationship under the influence of “obsession.” Looking back now. It has to be crazy to think of that kind of “in love” in secret. I called that puppy love!

In love, experience is delighted at its peak. We are emotionally obsessed with each other. We go to sleep thinking of one another. When we get up and rise, that person is the first thought on our minds. We long to be together, romantic, like the one in the novels. When I read the “Mills and Boons” or romantic novels, we pictured that we were like Cinderella waiting for the Prince to save and lift us to the kingdom. Spending time together is like playing in the cloudy sky of heaven. This is it! When we hold hands, our blood seems tingling, and an electrifying feeling flows together even when he smokes like a chimney! Oh, my jolly! I was in love with a man I hardly knew who was a heavy smoker, a hefty drinker, and many other vices.

He just visited me when he came from college in the other region. I hardly know him. But since he was the first time who courted me but vaguely said, I love you! It was the first time I had the experience of holding hands together.

Therefore, I jumped to the conclusion that this is the man. It was so romantic that I didn’t know how to act. Since then, this man has had so many friends visiting me. I couldn’t understand or pinpoint who the one who wanted me was. Sometimes, there are more than three, at least. Since he’s studying a nautical course in other cities, he came home during the holiday. He is a tall man, Filipino standard height, but he seemed to be a quiet man with so many friends. One time, they visited while I was studying in the library, and when I came home, they were fighting with the other gangs living on the campus where I lived.

I was amazed that there were many men in front of the room where I lived, my brother and sister. I said to the neighbor, “Who are they?” Are they fighting? I was so very astonished that I was the cause of their fights. I called them “rivals.” Oh no! I didn’t even know I was the cause of the rivalry. Anyhow, I was so flabbergasted to see the reason.

So, this nautical man’s purpose was to visit, say goodbye to me, and study in another city. He was taking a Nautical course. They usually work in boats in different countries, stopping at every port. I went to the other town where I had just graduated with a Bachelor of Business Administration. He went to Japan as his first post job or depot. He wrote me a letter, but I lost his contact when I shifted places.

Since I was away and didn’t receive his letters anymore, I still have hope we meet another someday. I was keeping his love letters. I know he has many vices like smoking, drinking alcohol, and other characteristics that it was hidden from the natural man.

While working in Davao in the office, I worked with the HHBayne Adjuster Company. I told the story about my boss with a furious wife. At that time, I received a call from my sister in our province’s hometown. She told me she met his sister, The sister, and showed him the album. My ex-boyfriend’s sister showed my sister intentionally, as she told me over the phone. In that album, she had shown the different destination ports where his brother’s ship docked in various countries to deliver their shipment with varying types of women who are prostitutes, some are blond, in Norway, India, brunette European, maybe Asian wherever-various of women in every port for leisure. So, Del knew me about being decent with integrity. She reprimanded or advised my sister to forget her brother because he would not suit me. Having hope and expecting so much about his brother’s behavior and conduct would be disastrous. I was so disgusted to know it, but I was glad it was just passing by without even being serious about it. I lost my contact with this man I hardly knew in the first place. Do you believe in prayer being interceded by our parents, particularly our mother, and anyone Christian could be your friend? I think my mother had prayed for me. You’ll find out later that I have become a blessing to the whole family in the Philippines because of my husband. My mother passed away with the Lord a few years ago, but I am still very grateful she’s a Christian and devoted to God. I’ve been protected when it comes to relationships.

When I think of it now, I was grateful to know it was not my prospective husband, or else there would be circumstances that we regret. There are so many women victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse, servants, and other disasters.

When it happened, maybe, this man would say with a larynx-hoarse voice box, like having a sore throat sound. “Where is my cup of coffee? Where is my alcohol? Did you buy it? Where is my cigarette? When he visited me for the last time in those days, before he left our place to say goodbye. It was the most disgusting to see him vomiting on my lap. How stone drunk that man was with yellowish colored fingertips because of constant use of the nicotine cigarette. There is a moral lesson here when we all experience falling in love. It did fall out of love, and it would have been a big crash if it was not God’s divine intervention behind the scenes. Imagine when this man comes back home for so long that he would hardly be home and see the family! How about the sexual disease that he would be bringing to his wife after engaging those women?

Well! God didn’t allow me to get on with that man. God has another plan. If whatever! I could see the scenario and expect the whirling, turning around in a spiral, going about with the colored green man from another planet. The surroundings may also be smoked green. Then, I would say. “Oh, no! I married the devil!” You laughed, but it’s true; you better check with the Lord who will be your husband-to-be. While I was writing this, I was laughing out loud. Sometimes, because of infatuation and puppy love, we become blind, for we think “love is blind.” Anyhow, we have to experience before we know that maybe we’re being deceived. We better open our eyes wide. Somebody will advise you, perhaps your parents or friends. But look, I fell in love with this man, who is already 54 years old. Ahh yah! How about when you cry and tear with your eyes later on with bruises on your body because you become his punching bag? God forbid! Better pray first!

I have another experience and story that can relate to you; perhaps that’s why you are reading this book. I didn’t open my eyes immediately; I had to experience the process first. However, I was glad I was wise enough to be kept a pure and virtuous woman.

Somebody would advise us from somebody who can see, for we’re blind. Unfortunately, the eternal of the “in love” experience is fiction, not fact. But I’ve been there!

According to the comment I read about the psychologist. I read conducted long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. Based on studying couple scores, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. It may last a little longer if it is a secretive love affair. Sooner or later, however, we all descend from the clouds of nine and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the ugly and natural things, whether a man or a woman. Her endearing “quirks and oddity” are now annoying. His sharp sense of humor is now stupid and not funny but stupid, ha…haa..! Those little bumps we overlooked when we were in love now become huge mountains. We try to get out of it! How! That’s why you read and see many separations, divorces, and other entanglements and traps. Usually, it ends up in affairs outside the relationship.

How do we find out first? I wonder, in the Puritan period, even the modern society with this pre-arranged marriage, with their culture and tradition? You can judge them yourselves after the wedding. There are many cultures you can read or hear from the TV news about the consequences of pre-arranged marriage. Look, I still believe in commitment or vows in marriage. It’s still essential.

In the Philippines, living together or having a de facto relationship in those days has been attached to stigma. The couple, especially in a society with this tradition of religious belief of Catholicism, are very strict of law and legalism. Of course, the other altered Christianity is called religion. Your reputation is at stake, especially the family members who conform to their moral values and culture unless you live in a different country where no one knows you and your partner.

In Australia or Western democratic nation, are allowed to have de-facto or living together for their parents and other friends has the same fate of divorce and separation even when they have no children or having children. It has become a trend! It’s very alarming it may happen to them. But it would be better for me to know one another before signing the dots! I just thought of that, as my husband told me. Signing papers of matrimonial and commitments is easy, but signing documents is just the beginning of the journey. It happened to one of my loved ones. They don’t mean one another; they refer to different personality types. They are not very compatible; different academic levels are unsuitable for one another.

When I noticed these problems, I prayed to God for divine intervention (Purim) behind the scenes to bring her a mate suitable for one another with the same radar. People think I am un-Christian, but who cares? I don’t want my loved one to have pain because of reputation. I wait; what is God’s move afterward? God loves me. So, I know He has something good to prepare for good things for my loved ones. Even then, what can I do? They’re both mature, intelligent, and sensible couples.

Kenneth Copeland states, “God never intended for us to scattershot prayers. He never meant for us just shoot a bunch of general requests heavenward, hoping maybe some of them would do some good. No, those kinds of hit-or-miss prayers don’t satisfy us or God, either one.”

“Jesus never said that when we ask God for something, sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it’s no. He taught that God always gives us what we ask.” (Matthew 7:7).

2 Corinthians 1:20: “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ. And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.” (NIV).

I believe that I have discovered the roadmap of my destiny; it is the Word of God, or I found it in the Bible. God knows before the foundation of the world. He knows what you were born to do because He declared the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). He also knows what you will go through before reaching your destination, including your partner.

Could you please allow me to share the divine progression that will enable you to arrive at the pre-arranged, predetermined place?

In the beginning was the Word (John 1:1). Everything God created was established on the foundation of His Word. Likewise, every endeavor you pursue must begin with the Word. The Word is the seed that governs the increase in the Kingdom of God.

When you meditate on the Word of God, it governs your thinking. As he thinketh in his heart, so is he …(Proverbs 23:7).

Everything in life is determined by how you think! When you feel based on the Word, it positions you for a life of abundance and overflow.

I MET A MARRIED MAN AT WORKPLACE-#ME, TOO!

It’s not easy! Men know that! Even they have families with wives and children. It’s the most horrendous place in those most close to one another. The boss and secretary are always together as co-workers. So, with the male subordinates. You are always there together from morning to afternoon. The secretary prepared for coffee or whatever the manager wanted her to do. How about during nighttime for overtime?

In those days, I was a secretary of this manager, who was married with three children and worked for years in that office. The first time I worked there, I knew he was eyeing me, so he accepted me as secretary. I was very young. The first time in the office, he asked me to make coffee for him and bought beer and cigarettes. It shocked me because I had not been brought up with those things, and we never had them in our house as part of life! But I need the job, but I always think it’s temporary or not permanent, as I would say. One day! I get out of here!

I did! I had a terrifying experience when the wife found out about her husband; my boss may have fallen in love with me because the wife went to the office in a rage, standing in front of the table where I sat. She threatened by swinging me with her knife, pointing to my face, almost slapping my face. She threatened me that she would slash my pretty face because her husband was being tempted to like me or got attracted to me. If you were in that situation, you would be frightened. It was driven by jealousy, which I can understand. I am a very conservative type of person, not seductive or flirtatious. But I was confronted with a woman in a rage of love with her husband. Could it be an obsession? But this woman who was a public teacher loves her husband, and that’s the reason why she behaved like that.

What have I done? But I was reticent because she was in a rage with the knife in her hand. I was so shocked that I left the place and resigned. My typist told me that maybe the wife said to her that my name was being mentioned in their house every so often when he came home every time. On the other hand, that led me to the destiny God had planned for me. We would say it’s a blessing in disguise! If that adventure story hadn’t happened, maybe I could have had so many more troubles and the temptation of having an affair with my boss, but God forbids it. If not, escaping the perfect time would be a nightmare. How could I be prevented without trouble? I didn’t want to be an intruder. So, I left in a hurry, even running away at midnight by bus, not saying goodbye to anyone except my brother, who was living in that place at that time, and our co-lodgers. I went to Manila from Davao City. If I look back, it was the right move I made! I should have done it earlier, but it was part of my journey. In the next chapter, I will discuss how I married my husband phenomenally. It was the right path.

When I am writing this book, the draft I have been writing for one year is “God’s Master Plan For My Destiny.” It was a plan before the foundation of the world. As you can see, I am writing about “The Fulfilment Of Marriage”-The Secret To of My Marriage To Last Against Odds.” It’s not a coincidence; it was already planned (Psalm 139).

When I was in the office, everybody had been smoking, and the room was full of clouds of smoke. I couldn’t believe those adjusters of cars my colleagues, who were usually men, came from the club, drinking alcohol, drinking like a fish, and playing around with those prostitutes. The words that I heard from them were so disgusting and unpleasant to hear. I want to mention this as part of a life lesson. Maybe you’re reading this book because you’re in trouble with your workmates or have other issues. You’re still single and want to search for your mates. If possible, I hope you look for a dignified, clean venue, a church, sports events, or other clean activities.

In that office, I also met a lawyer I thought would be my future man because he’s older than me and has a stable or secured job, but I was hesitant to say “Yes.” I never believed that straightaway maybe that man had an issue or was a married man in Manila. He was temporarily assigned to fix problems in our office (subsidiary) in the province. I mentioned this as an example because we tend to categorize them as wearing ties, long sleeves, pretty awesome, and groovy with the tags attached to their titles as Attorney, Dr., Engineer, and  Bbdvb…Dddv…degrees. Many collections of certificates. For ladies there are so many titles and pretty with thick cosmetics that look like a model.

In the Philippines, it is the one factor that the family of the bribe or groom must finish a degree from college or university. They seemed to count this as an asset and give them a good reputation for family members to their family, friends, neighbors, and relatives.

THE REALITY IN LIFE- MOVE INTO AND INTRUDES

I just mentioned all the past experiences we have had with my relationship in this book. I could say that, in the end, we have to face reality. Welcome to the real world of marriage, where it’s the world where bills and in-laws, house to buy, and jobs. For the couple, for those who have children, all clamor for our attention, a world where reality comes in. The routine, anger, and resentment can silently eat away at the love we once had.

Why are you not on time? Can we go to parties and pubs with friends? Hair is messy, and there is no more makeup, but there is a mess in the kitchen and bathroom, and the messy living room has cat and dog hairs; things are all over the place. Where can we eat tonight? Why didn’t you get that stuff I told you?

In this world, a look can hurt, and a word can crush and disappoint. Intimate lovers can become enemies, and marriage becomes a battlefield.

We recalled our dating romantic place, our honeymoon, our outing in the most beautiful place in France, and other famous places for your vacation. What happened to the “in-love” experience? Finally, it was an illusion on the dotted line, for better or worse.

I am talking about the “crush, falling in love, infatuation, and puppy love situation turned into a nightmare. Based on my article, I am not referring to all who really love each other and have turned their relationship seriously. No wonder many have to curse marriage and the partner they once loved. After all, if we are deceived, we have the right to be angry. Did we have the “real thing?” I think so. The problem was inaccurate information.

First, the insufficient information was the idea that the “in love” obsession would last forever. Some are, don’t be mistaken. Unfortunately, some are not. We should have known better.

When I fell head over heels in love in those days, I saw my concentration in study was not good. It isn’t easy to study when you are in love. Some lost interest in learning because they were obsessed with that person. The euphoria of the “in love” state gives us the illusion that we have an intimate relationship.

FROM CRAZY IN LOVE TO REAL LOVE.

As you live together, we recognize the in-love experience for what it was as an impermanent emotional high and now go after “real love” with our spouse. But it takes a while to feel this experience because as we live for a while, we learn about the person and adapt to that person. We know his and her flaws and defects. This kind of love is emotional in reality and nature but no longer categorized as obsessional. It is a love that unites understanding, reason, and emotion. It requires with the act of the will, you know his and her ways. It requires discipline and recognizes the need for personal maturity and growth. The demanding attitude will also change. You know why he and she act that way!

The fundamental emotional need is not to fall in love, cray, crush, infatuated, and puppy love but to be authentic and truly loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason, who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. The grace of God comes in when it comes to married couples who might have trouble with something like my disabled husband. When the other sees me, they think I am a martyr, which is untrue. Why? To know love that grows out of reason and choice. I didn’t say the first time I knew my husband saying, can I handle this? When I came to know my situation and predicament. I didn’t regret it and ran away.

This kind of love requires effort, patience, perseverance, and discipline. It is the choice to extend energy to benefit the other person, knowing that their life is enriched and happy by my effort to help with compassion. I, too, will find a sense of satisfaction. So, the joy and contentment of having genuinely loved one another. It does not require the euphoria; the elated “in-love” experience has run its course.

We cannot take merit or credit for the kind and generous things we do while under the influence of “obsession with compulsion.” We are pushed and carried along by the instinct aptitude force that goes beyond our standard behavior patterns. But once we return to the real world of human choice, we choose to be kind and generous, which is real LOVE.

If we want emotional health, the emotional need for love must be met. However, married adults long to feel affection and love for their spouses. This is a permanent, not just temporary, way of living together. We need security. We feel secure when we are assured that our mate accepts us, wants us, likes us, and is committed to our well-being for better or worse. During the “in-love” stage, we felt all of those emotions. It was heaven and fantasy land while it lasted. Our mistake was in thinking it would last forever.

Obsession was not meant to last forever. If I think of it, the marriage textbook is the introduction of the couple getting in love with one another. But the book’s heart is rational, logical, and purposeful, which is willing love. That is the kind of love to which the sages have always called us. It is deliberate.

When the married couple lost all their “in-love” feelings, I heard from others that they think they’re just friends, no more sparkling feelings. If love is a choice, they can love after the “in-love” obsession has died and they have returned to the world’s reality. That kind of love begins with attitude, a way of thinking.

I recalled in the 1970s when I read the booklet from the “The Plain Truth” magazine during my younger days. I picked up one of these Christian booklets, “An Outgoing Concern Love,” before I met my husband-to-be. Love is the attitude that says, “I am married to you, and I” choose to look out for your interests.”Then the one who decides to love everything about you, whether you are ugly in appearance, short, with flaws, fatso, wrinkled, grey hair, cellulite legs and without cosmetics every time for women. One who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision. I would say it this way: the unselfish way of loving me, my attitude.

But it seems sterile and boring, some may comment. Where are the thrill and excitement of sex? What about the spirit of anticipation, the electricity of holding hands and kissing one another? What about the thought of emotional security of knowing that I am number one in their mind, thinking they are the best? Competing with others is so tiring when your spouse has an extramarital affair with a woman. You are always in your alert mood where your spouse spending their time. For those trying to please someone “in love,” marital affairs must always be stressful and worrisome. Where are they now? It isn’t reassuring to find out they are dating another lover.

That is what this book is all about. How do we meet each other’s deep need to be loved? Suppose we can learn that and decide to do it. In that case, our love will be exciting beyond anything we ever felt when fascinated and smitten with someone.

When both of you are emotional, the love tank is complete, and he feels secure in love; the whole world looks bright and much better. Your spouse wants to move the mountain to make you happy. Moreover, your spouse will move out to reach their highest potential and ability in your life. But when the love tank is empty-handed and bare. He feels used but not loved, the whole world looks gloomy, and he will likely never reach his potential for good.

When I mentioned the couple in the Philippines who live a straightforward life, they even don’t question that their house is “payag,” a little hut made of bamboo and coconut roofing. They are already happy. If they are eating bananas, they’re already satisfied with their children. Of course, it’s living in the make-believe type of life. On the other hand, they don’t know the other side of the world’s standard of living.

My husband and I watched this program on TV entitled “The Most Expensive Luxurious Houses” program in the United Kingdom.We saw this mansion, villas, and palace-type houses. They’re huge and very luxurious inside. Yes! In that standard type of house, it becomes very idyllic for people to look at and wish to have them. But, in my opinion. I look at it as just a building for display and show. Of course, the price of those houses is in the millions. But I was not impressed even when I looked at them. Who knows, the people there want to sell them for business or money making. Or it could be those places are just buildings, which is not a description of a home.

It’s nice to post another one that I believe there are many who are very interested to read. As I noticed in my graph, statistic, and algorithm in my Word Press, I’ve observed trends that really highlight the topics that resonate with my audience. It seemed the books that I have written entitled: The Fulfillment Of Marriage – The Secret Of Marriage To Last, The Power of Love, and The Ten Love Languages, similar to these topics, seemed to be the number one reading and of great interest to many readers. This feedback has not only encouraged me but also fueled my passion for exploring these themes further. Relationships are a vital part of our lives, and understanding the dynamics of love and commitment can lead to healthier connections. So, I decided to post again this type of blog today because I believe that sharing insights and experiences on these subjects can really help people navigate their own relationships more effectively.

A few days ago, while having breakfast, I discovered magazines titled Australian Guide Over 50s and Living & Lifestyle taken from the Upper Coomera Library, Gold Coast. I was pleasantly surprised to find a page that mirrored part of my own writing, which led me to ponder the significance of this striking similarity for readers who may come across both pieces. The article in the magazine was titled “What is your love language?”, a topic I have explored in depth within my own work. It made me reflect on how communication styles shape our relationships and how understanding these nuances can enhance our connections with others. Let’s explore this further. I will extract pertinent insights from my books, dovetailing them with the magazine’s perspectives. This way, I can present a comprehensive view of the subject, allowing readers to grasp the connections between the two while also ensuring that my literary contributions are included in the discussion, all in one go.

 TEN LOVE LANGUAGES

When I found the book Five Love Languages”-The Secret to Love That Lasts.” Gary Chapman wrote this book.

“According to the book, “Between Busy Schedules and Long Days- expressing love can fall by the wayside. We forget to compliment, to give gifts “just because,” to linger in our embrace. The things that say “I love you” seem to either not get said or not get through. This is a book about saying it-and hearing it. No gimmicks, No psychoanalyzing. Just learning to express love in your spouse’s language.”

I extracted this from his book Gary Chapman, a famous author about marriage. But I will paraphrase it with my marriage experience of almost more than 40 years. It may differ from your marriage experience because we’re in another category. Still, you will have more encouraging words from me because you would wonder how I could cope for such a long time with a disabled husband. People observe how I live with my husband. Despite being disabled, he also has a powerful personality, and sometimes, due to his situation, others call him “stubborn.” Yes, but I still consider him my husband, who loved me because of the 5 Love Languages.

Due to his situation, ’I would say it’s more than “Five Love Languages,” which I will emphasize in my book. So, for those who have no trouble with their spouses with disabilities, that is supposed to be less problematic. Right! But in some ways, in our lives, there is always something that can’t be avoided beyond circumstance. I think regretting can’t be a good remedy when somebody is dating and proposing to you, whatever type of your relationship.

As you can see, many distractive behaviors arise when the crisis happens or before and after it begins. There are so many factors that cause us to play blaming games. I shouldn’t, and why? However, when you watch TV sitcoms or programs these days in the TV, you can see the subjects are about romance. There are the following: Married First Sight, First Date, Bachelor Australia, Love Me, Love Islands, The Farmer Wants Wife, Back With The Ex, Bachelorette, and The Farmer’s Wife, and so on. I am just setting an example. In the 1970s, back in the Philippines, where I came from, it was about romantic novels called Mills and Boons, Barbara Cartland, Emily Loring, and Harlequin Romantic novels. It was trendy, but these romantic books give us a dream and imagination as teenagers and younger girls looking for love in many places. Now, that is part of this book when you read. There is life on every page of this book. That was the start of my romance journey.

When you watch these TV sitcoms in Australia, of course, the couple has been selected as fashion models because they’re good-looking, pretty and macho appearance with beautiful outfits, and many attractive things that you think how I wish to be like them. Wow! Let’s not talk about their real them, such as personalities, the actual character being shown there. Remember, “this is just a show.” However, this is a basic TV. They smile, shout, disappointed with the tears of their house, tantrums, and so forth. JUST A SHOW. If they call it “quits.” They can quit. I would say financial gain or simply a job in the show.

TAPESTRY-DIVINE ANOINTING

While walking through the wilderness of testing, I encountered many trials that sometimes discouraged me along the journey. I know someone who led me to a glorious result. So, I sometimes face discouragement or frustration, but it is temporary. I am the hope of salvation. I find incredible treasures amid things. I find unique treasures in the midst of them. I know there is a purpose and my destiny. Every trial was a lesson through the eyes of God’s untainted wisdom. I would never see the goodness that He is sowing in my story as I submit to the love in times of tests and trials being instilled in me and times of celebration. It’s working out everything together for my good, building me up in redemption power. It’s the trust my life is beautifully woven with the thread TAPESTRY of amazing grace.

I know that I have been anointed with purpose. It’s a divine anointing assignment that no human can undo. People were watching and observed asking questions, even the doctor, family members, and friends. “That has to be difficult? How come she copes?” It the grace shall follow all the days of my life.

I will ask you, did you say to your spouse, “I love you?” I just did! Every time. It may be a rehearsed type of word, but it seems to be an automatic word with feelings. So, I mean it!  A grace-based relationship with the Holy Spirit will give you prompt. “Hug him/her.”

Whatever, sulking and being silent as your retaliation will also become worse and escalate. You couldn’t sleep, and you were very uncomfortable in your home. I don’t know your situation and spouse, which is challenging or wrong. When you hug them, you could try! And with a smile on your face. Darling, I will cook you a delicious dinner tonight. Whatever or anything that alleviates the problems.

When I came to Australia on April 24, 1984, I knew my husband needed my help and assistance because I knew his situation through a person I met in Makati, Philippines. I will discuss this later on as you read it further. This book you’re reading now may inspire my real-life stories and encourage me by its commonsense approach to life as if you’re walking with a wise friend. Applying it will forever change your relationship with your mates, spouses, and couples (husband and wife).

Well. I am not a speaker and counselor director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants or a pastor or minister who can advise you. I am not a Psychiatrist or Psychologist. I am a wife who is the carer, mother, stepmother, aunt, and homemaker in our household. So, my story is about my own experience in life as a woman. Now, I am a woman of faith, a believer in God with the Word of God as my tool.

I come from the Philippines, but I can speak English. When I came here to Australia, our language was English. So I can communicate with my husband well enough. Love is the most essential word in the English language and the most complicated type of word.

But first of all, I would like to explain to you the 10 Love Languages  that are being applied in my life, such as:

1. WORDS OF CONFIRMATION
2. QUALITY TIME
3. RECEIVING GIFTS
4. ACTS IN SERVICE
5. PHYSICAL TOUCH

As for me, I will add more of these five love languages because I have different categories that inspire and encourage you by saying! How about her? If she can cope, how can she handle her situation?

6. UNDERSTANDING

7. COMPASSION

8. SYMPATHY

9. COMPATIBILITY (SAME INTEREST)

10. EMPATHY

It’s just my assumption. I believe my husband’s mother, a Christian, prayed for him intensely before I had contact with him. My Christian mother prayed for me to find a suitable husband to love and care for me and perhaps help this person have a second lease of life. He also helped my family. I was also helping my family back in the Philippines. By the grace of God, he is still around, and he helped me. I have so many benefits of having a husband that the Lord gave me to help me. Please don’t be mistaken; it doesn’t have to be a Christian or anyone regarding relationships. I want to emphasize that this may help me in my married life. It depends on every situation. Though, I called it my destiny. God was already pre-plan and divinely purpose to marry my husband, who has problems with things. There are so many successful marriages regarding what they believe in any situation and circumstances. But I have to emphasize about love.

As you read further, I will discuss this more, where we met in a unique and unusual but very romantic. You can also read more about my passion for reading “Mills and Boons” while I was younger. I believed in finding a man in my dream, his description. It sounds romantic, but it came to pass.

I want to express to you. Regarding the person being disabled physically, there is something in his character, personality, and intelligence that can describe your man, mate, or husband. It counts! It may not be a man with a knight in shiny armor or described in heroic, romantic novels as tall, dark, and handsome. It’s up to you whether he is short or tall, dark and beautiful, but watch out, who knows? He is dark inside, such as his character, personality, and other nasty things hidden before you have a relationship with your mate or vice versa for a woman.

It’s the integrity and compatibility. We are suitable for one another because we can discuss the same things, likes, and dislikes, such as birds, flowers, traveling, and other political issues.